A few months ago, I went to a winery to celebrate a friend’s birthday. We were sitting around a wooden table, when a gentleman began to taste our food. Now, this Cabernet has a fortune teller and has a lot of tannins, he said. (Or something like that. Of course, I heard a series of words, divination, and then, “tannins.”)
I turned to the girl who was sitting next to me. “How do you know if a wine has a lot of tannins?” I asked him. He told me to look in my glass and see the wine dripping inside. According to him, the slower and brighter the decline, the more tannins increase.
The conversation reminded me of an experience I had at once with my former girlfriend when we first dated. In it, Marshall and Lily insult Ted for arrogance, well, everything. At one point, Ted comments on tannins, and Marshall and Lily respond with “taaaaanins,” pull “a” to work.
Years later, whenever we were in a good mood, my ex-wife and I were constantly jealous and cursing “taaaaanins.” If he were in the vineyard, we would laugh. Instead, I drank it quietly and smiled and passed out.
It has been almost a year since our relationship ended, and I am always amazed at the deceptive ways I am reminded of her. It makes sense to realize his absence at major events: birthdays, holidays, and holidays, which I already fear. But I did not count the many jokes we used to do in all our years. I never expected to miss her so much in places where we had no history.
It is said that we carry our loved ones wherever we go — yes, even those you left behind or those who left you. If not, what do you do with the evidence you gained over time? The humor you repeated, the music you created, the shorthand that naturally creates between people who spend time together. When it comes to love – and grief – aren’t the little things really great after all? Are they not the few times that most distinguish between intimate relations and friendships?
Then to do What do you do with inner jokes that you no longer have a listener? The joke that requires a backstory to explain (and isn’t even funny to anyone)? I think you smile when you can, and you cry when you feel good. Maybe you write it down because you need to put it somewhere, and you stop wondering how many have these things in them, too.
Jenny Jin is a beauty editor, writer and space expert based in Los Angeles. He also told us about his weekly clothes. Find him on Instagram @jyjin, where he can happily respond to any DM-related life, sun protection and K-pop sensation, BTS.
PS A seven-step guide to heartbreak, with 10 readers responding to heartbreak.
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