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How to Have a Conversational With Interest and Risk


A show of hands for those who appreciate great communication, transparency, and being straightforward and honest. I will go out and imagine that you all can answer yes. Now, keep your hand if you are successful in everything you need: communication, transparency, and honesty. Is your hand still up? Each time someone asks a question in public, more than half of the group slowly lower their hands, looking around with the words “ugh, guilty.” It’s strange. Violent conversations are exactly the same — difficult to keep up with — and there are many factors that contribute to strong emotions: selfishness, a desire to offend others, insecurity, superstition, insecurity, and the list goes on.

Although I am not an expert at difficult conversations and I have made many mistakes in avoiding them, or coming to the discussion in a way that I have not been proud of in the past, I am proud to be able to have it. them, and it is often the advice my friends ask me.

With the help of support, many of the Dare to Lead podcasts listen to from Brené Brown, just having some rigorous interviews, here are five recent experiences I’ve had, and how I’ve done it.

Friendship

Scenario: Last year, I felt I didn’t fit in with my best friend. Whatever the reason, I knew in my heart that I did not want to lose the friendship. After lunch, I just said, “I can see the difference between us now, I don’t know if this is true, but I feel our friendship is precious and I want to make sure that we have time to talk about it. help to encourage. How are you doing? “

My heart pounded all this time. I had so many experiences going through my head that it was too long to mention. The key to the discussion was to keep an eye on and learn how they felt about the verdict.

I love that he asked, “Do you have any real examples that made you feel this way?” In response, I did not point fingers, but shared how I felt at the moment. This led us to open up deeper concerns and have open discussions.

In the end, we all felt that we were a little different but for no other reason than life, children, and a pandemic, and we committed ourselves to putting our time and money back into each other’s lives. We ended up saying, “You are the most important person in my life and I want to spend a lot of time in this relationship, this is what it looks like …”

We also described our relationship, which after 10+ years becomes meaningful because we are all growing and evolving as human beings.

Lesson: Be interested, listen to the other person’s answers, and do not judge their answers. Their reality is their experience, and their purpose is to build the next section or theme. No one is trying to win or anyone else here, we all came from a place where we wanted to understand each other and help each other the next chapter.

Love Relationships

I can dedicate the whole story to a difficult discussion on dating, and especially because this is where I fail many, but follow.

Scenario: I was in a new relationship (six months) and I came to the point where I was no longer happy, and the relationship seemed one-sided in many ways. In these cases, I wish I could talk sooner about how I feel, try and work, but it didn’t, which is one thing I still learn. For about six months, I realized that the relationship was not mine but it was very difficult for me to leave because he was a very nice person, and yes, you think, I did not want to offend him. . With the help of my assistant, I approached the discussion and thought about how I wanted to hear and how I wanted (I hope) to hear and come in very kindly. I did not go in to save, I know it was not mine, but we run in the same teams and I take care to make sure it ended kindly.

I said, “I realize this can be surprising because I have not yet used my words to share this with you, which is a great lesson for me. I appreciate our time together, however, I am looking for more from a relationship. “Although she was a little surprised, she was not afraid. We all shared a few compliments and have remained friendly ever since.

Lesson: When you know him do not i want to save the relationship, i dont think it is necessary to point fingers and report incidents where things went wrong – especially if you have never done anything in the past. It was very important for me to admit that I did not use my words or bring anything to try to take action — for me, that is the obviousness, honesty, and insecurity in admitting that I was wrong.

Workplace

For every job and position I have ever had, I have always been determined to raise my salary or rate. Instead, I find it easy to discuss and motivate my work, and I want everyone to be comfortable and trustworthy to do so because many are paid less and / or less aware of the importance. I’m glad I now live in groups that talk openly about pay – and I swear once you start learning what others are doing, you won’t have a problem asking for more.

In my opinion, the strongest negotiations at work are those of your colleagues or supervisors with whom you work regularly, especially if you are in an office against the remote. I cannot guarantee the urgency of this important discussion because the longer you wait, the more your work and mental health will suffer.

Scenario: On a business trip where I had a big event, I heard that there was no other friend. They are usually warm, welcoming, and draw the right time to hang, but I met them differently. It was a quick trip and we didn’t have much time on our own, so I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything at the time. Also, I was still trying to decide how I felt. Every emotion was there: frustration, heartache, anger, resentment, and even doubt as to what I would do to make her feel that way. When I got home, the mood was still there, so about a week later, I asked for a phone call.

Knowing that our working relationship was good — and the kind that appreciates insecurity and bold communication — I just said, “I know you’re the kind who appreciates insecurity and open communication, so I wanted to talk about what happened recently. I felt like something had been shut down, and it wasn’t. as you are, are you all right? ” I decided to get rid of this at first and find out what was going on with them like everything. He replied that he was not happy with their part, and shared that it was not an excuse to make this to me, and he felt pain that affected me the way it was.

We decided together to find a monthly time to cover our retirement, and I am happy to say that this has been very helpful. Sometimes it is necessary to remove a “job” from the job in order to be well informed; although it takes both parties to be ready to make time for this.

Education: Putting ourselves in the shoes of the one who said, “You did this to me,” causes the other person to open up a lot more against coming out of the defense or embarrassment. No doubt my friend was aware of this fact, for I felt liberated. I think the conversation would have been different if I had opened up and said, “You were rude to me.”

Potseka…

No matter what the situation, it is clear that curiosity, guilt, and lack of judgment or judgment are essential to a successful relationship. I am glad that each event has also resulted in a stronger and more open discussion, and I provide guidance along the way. But I’m interested readers, do you get into a difficult conversation? What did you learn? Hear in the comments below!



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