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How to Talk to Your Children About Gender and Children at Every Age

What I learned about men and women as a child was not new. It makes sense if boys play with dolls and girls play with dolls, or boys and strong and girls and weak were common ideas in the stadium. Even though I was raised as a girl, a hairdresser and everything else, my father often encouraged me not to think that men and women are the limit and to do things that were not always considered “girl”. For example, dumping garbage and mowing the lawn was part of my job — probably because I did not have a brother to live with.

Since I had never encountered the difficulties of settling down and growing up, it was not until I grew up with a clear understanding of the concept of gender that I began to realize the destructive ways of people who do not believe in and ban binary culture. When I was in school, our health classes didn’t want to know much about gender, and the internet was a small place at the time.

The discussions that are taking place here about the identity of men and women are, in my opinion, important to the health and well-being of our children.

My parents’ generation was extremely careful about discussing difficult subjects, and they had no problem with that — and that was exactly what happened! Now that we live in an age of awareness, it is important to discuss with our children issues such as sex, race, puberty, drugs, and identity. If we as parents choose not to talk to our children about these things, in time they may find the answers to their own questions and may feel that they cannot reach us, or even worse, they may feel that these matters are unfair. or shame and start putting it inside.

When it comes to gender, children start learning sentences before they even say all the sentences, so the sooner we have a discussion, the better prepared they are for success. But where do you start? Well, based on my research and experience as a mother of two, I have developed a guide to help you talk to your children about gender at any age. And remember, while it may be best to start a conversation about gender and identity early, the best time is at any given time, so give yourself grace if they are older and you haven’t talked to them about it.

Photo by Taylor Jones

Ana Zaka 0-3

At an early age, babies learn a lot about themselves and the world around them. They learn and develop interpersonal skills, quickly build language and vocabulary, and begin sharing items with people in boxes. Instead, children begin to develop their own gender at age 3, although a positive and positive feeling is evident as they continue to learn and grow.

Children of this age love to communicate and explore through games, so toys are opportunities to inform them about gender, even openly. Think about giving them all kinds of toys, and identify the words that you use to describe or encourage them to play with one toy over another.

Ana 4-6 years

At this age, children become more interested in the world around them and ask more questions. They also look at the people they see in public and try to understand. This is a great time to educate them about the definition of gender that exists beyond binary and to make them habitually not to imitate the gender of others by using political meanings in their definitions.

You probably read a lot of books to your child over the years. This is an opportunity to explain a number of gender-based statistics such as Introducing Teddy, an interesting picture book about gender and friendships. It Sounds Good to Be Alone is a picture book that describes gender in a positive and negative way.

Ana Ages 6-12

At this age, children begin to absorb most of the media outlets that expose them to old-fashioned ideas and may even encounter conflicting messages from their peers. They may also begin to experience sex for themselves and the external activities they have. When choosing a school for your child, consider whether their athletic teams encourage all boys to participate.

They may also be very popular in this age group, especially as they approach puberty, to identify themselves as men and women and may want to show it off with clothing or hair styles. Consider giving them the freedom to choose what they feel best about themselves and their style of hair. Although the market for non-political clothing is growing, many stores are still discriminating against girls and boys, which may ultimately be an opportunity to explain why this and how this is changing.

Young people Ages 13-18

This is incredible, but young people can be very difficult to communicate with. She is battling dangerous hormones, facing more pressures at school, and facing more peer groups. Because people of that age group are deeply concerned about intrusion, bullying is a common problem.

So how do you get past a teenager? Well, the best thing you can do as a parent is to continue discussing gender in a balanced way. Ask sincere questions, or answer their questions about gender and questions that help to understand their position. To make your child feel comfortable around you, remind them that you always support and love them. It is better to do things patiently and cautiously than to respond in fear or embarrassment.

For Parents

In order to talk to your children about gender, you need to be prepared to master the knowledge and understanding necessary to answer questions and explain things boldly. If you are a parent who is eager to start your own learning process, I recommend reading a little. Raising Them: Our Journey in the Smart Parenting of Gender Creative Parenting enables readers to explore in depth the stereotypes of gender we do not even know we are developing, and offers a way to raise children who oppose binary. An invaluable tool for me has been genderspectrum.org, available ton of various things to parents.

Give Your Children the Right to Identify Yours

I recently spoke with Kate Smith of the Conscious Mamas Movement on the topic, and she had some amazing information that I also wanted to share. “There is a belief that children come here as empty vessels to be filled with our knowledge and wisdom,” says Smith. “I believe that children come with their own desires, interests, intellect and life goals. Our job is to protect, love, and help them on their journey through self-discovery. ”

He continued: “The most important thing for children to feel safe is to have a close relationship with their loved ones. This means appearing, as you can, when they want you. Give comfort when he is suffering or falling. Be consistent in your words and actions. And grant the power that both sides of it are acceptable to you. ”

If you have talked with your child about gender and they are showing curiosity about gender, consider giving them the freedom to explore. If your kids are trying to be known as men or women, you can explain that gender may be inferior — someday you may feel like a man and someday a woman, someday you don’t even notice in any box — and that’s all. that’s fine. If they continue to be attracted to a gender stereotype or develop dysphoria as they grow older, it may be time to consult a local psychiatrist.

Talking to your children about sex can be dangerous if you do not have the tools and resources to answer any questions they may have. One thing, however, is certain: do not panic when your children begin to experiment with gender. Here’s the thing: you don’t have to be an expert on the subject. If they have a question for which you do not have an answer, they will understand if you need time to explain or learn more together. Children are curious and patient when it comes to these things, and like everything else, these conversations are not automatic, they just go on and on.

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